It's that time of the year when sports fans just go berserk and SportsCentre is an hour long and jam-packed with stats and information. The Sports section of the paper suddenly becomes the size of the Sunday special and it takes a few hours to peruse it. And we couldn't be happier.
It happens twice a year that the professional sports calendar gets this crowded; once in April, when you have the beginning of baseball, the end of basketball, the NHL playoffs run for the Stanley Cup, car racing, MMA, and some of the most prestigious golf tournaments. Then it happens again in September, with the end of baseball and the run to the World Series, the beginning of hockey, basketball, MMA, etc. There's also soccer tournaments in Europe and other outdoor sports shows. It's an exciting lineup and a great time to be a sideliner.
Speaking as a total sports geek, I love spending that hour glued to the couch, checking out the greatest plays and the latest news. I love the old horse race for playoffs spots and following the NHL draft's Taylor vs. Tyler drama. It's great to have all the excitement, the hot-headed debates, the drama, the heartbreak. It's like reading a rich and layered trilogy, an epic tale of love, loss and betrayal, without the sometimes ridiculous dialogue.
People will say that sports are trivial, but really, they're not. They're just as rich and powerful as good literature or history documentaries. When you think about it, they're all about stories. Every franchise in the professional sports world has a history, full of intrigue, controversy and feeling. The fans and the players alike remember every victory, sad loss, the anticipation of a new year, the excitement of a new acquisition, the potential of a rookie, the legacy of a veteran to sign off. As well, they remember and carry the bitter rivalries, the bad injuries, the bad trades and the in-fighting. Team managers, owners and CEOs are a part of this mix as well, with some of their eccentricities and passions making up the best stories in sports.
Sports are incredibly personal in this way, but they're also very social. They instill a sense of pride within people who are less and less rooted to a particular spot in the world. You can live anywhere on the planet, but nothing shows your allegiance to a place like rooting for its team. It's rare in today's world to see people come together with a common purpose, but you can get thousands of people to cheer on a team to win the Cup for weeks at a time. There is something truly special about that. No matter who you are or where you're from, there is a need deep within us to belong to something, and sports can fill this void.
They also serve an evolutionary purpose. Many species need to assert themselves, showing off who's the fastest, the strongest, the most agile. Even the most disinterested people can't help but be impressed by the fastest, the strongest and the most agile. We love to see the best do what they do best and they love to set the bar higher and higher for everyone. Records are broken, milestones are had and dreams are made on the fields and in the arenas.
That's a lot for such 'trivial' activities.
Now to end with a few predictions (I'm almost always wrong, but I like to do it anyway. I'm a writer, not a fortune cookie).
Tiger Woods is going to hand in a mediocre performance at his first time back, given the intense media scrutiny and moral ass-whooping that he got to mark his debut;
Taylor Hall may still be bested by Tyler Seguin in the final standings for the NHL draft, but he's still going to be the best rookie of his year;
As is the general rule in baseball, the most spoiled teams with the richest budgets will face off again in the World Series, aka New York Yankees and someone else;
Balsillie will try to buy another team and bring them to Hamilton and Bettman will find a way to thwart him again;
Danika Patrick will hold on to her crown as the sexiest car racer;
The Sens will make it past the first, but not the second, round of the Stanley Cup playoffs;
The Stanley Cup Final may have either Chicago or Phoenix, yes, you read that right, Phoenix, taking on the defending champions Pittsburgh or the Great 8's Washington Capitals.
But the sports world is full of surprises and spoilers and anything can happen. Another reason why it's so great.
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Rant on Airport Security
It's gone completely whacko (like Jacko)! The Canadian government's putting in body scanners that basically take nude photos of passengers, including children, which some human rights advocates group say basically amount of child porn. And if it's child porn for them, well, it must be just regular porn porn for adults.
The agencies are defending themselves by saying that only random people will be selected for these things. Great, that means a random sampling of non white suspicious looking people or those with names like Abdu. In addition to this, they're also saying that this isn't a violation of people's privacy because the pictures taken will be viewed by some random guard in another room who can't see faces of passengers. Who needs to see your face when they've already seen your...well... you know.
And how many of us find that to be acceptable behaviour? Most of us adults, if we're showing our goods to another adult, the least we want to do is actually see their face, meet with them, maybe even have a couple of dinners somewhere, a martini at least...but now some random nobody in a locked guard room's going to get a free show because some guy failed to detonate some chemicals he stacked as extra junk in his trunk on a flight to Detroit.
But it's all for our own good. Of course it is. We're going to be safer! We're all going to feel safer! And then the pundits will tell us that we have nothing to fear but fear itself and that if we were really all a bunch of innocent, normal, sane people travelling for business, pleasure or other, then we have no reason to mind the extra security, right?
Wrong! I remember the post-Sept. 11th period when you could still travel with carry on luggage and bottles of water. You could bring nail clippers and give yourself a personal manicure on your flight if that's what you really wanted! And the most unpleasant part about heading to the airport, in the past, was not the gruelling security, but the long hours of waiting for your plane to arrive while sitting on a plastic chair.
But now, the measures taken by security are not only long, tedious, unnecessary and utterly humiliating at times, it hasn't made anyone safer. Attacks are still going to happen and people are still going to think of inventive new ways to carry them out. Do the governments really feel safer now that they've taken away our nail clippers, hand cream and bottled water? What else do they want to take from us so that we can continue to fly places and feel safe?
Here’s an idea. If the governments are really serious about sucking the fun out of travel one security measure at a time, why don’t they just go all out now and get it over with? Why don’t they just go all of the way or just go home? I’m throwing down the gauntlet now to the governments, airlines and airports of the world! Here’s what should be done from now on:
Once passengers arrive at the airport and have finished checking in with their respective surly airline staff, they will then proceed to security. Once they arrive, all of their personal goods will be taken and vacuum sealed in a Ziploc Lock It bag and tagged with the name of the passenger who will be assigned a random code of numbers to identify them properly. Once these items are secure, they will then be checked by tiny robots who will load them onto the plane. If an item moves or makes any suspicious ticking type sounds, the robots will be commanded to shoot to kill.
The passengers will then proceed to the decontamination bay, where they will be stripped of all their clothing by robots similar to the ones who currently operate drive through car washes. A heavily induced antibacterial spray which has been infused by the H1N1 vaccine will then be administered to the passenger. Once the spray is complete and it has been determined that the passenger shows no signs of the sniffles, they will then be dressed in a government issued orange jumpsuit with their random number code on it.
At this point, it will be safe for the passengers to board. Once on board the plane, the cabin crew will direct you to your designated seat where a handy hand belt will be buckled on for added security. This handy hand belt will also be connected to a handy foot belt that will discourage passengers from disturbing each other or making a scene.
Then everyone can relax, wait for takeoff, where they will be issued a $4 box of juice and watch only patriotic pro-Western family films like Rambo.
See? Not that different from flying today.
The agencies are defending themselves by saying that only random people will be selected for these things. Great, that means a random sampling of non white suspicious looking people or those with names like Abdu. In addition to this, they're also saying that this isn't a violation of people's privacy because the pictures taken will be viewed by some random guard in another room who can't see faces of passengers. Who needs to see your face when they've already seen your...well... you know.
And how many of us find that to be acceptable behaviour? Most of us adults, if we're showing our goods to another adult, the least we want to do is actually see their face, meet with them, maybe even have a couple of dinners somewhere, a martini at least...but now some random nobody in a locked guard room's going to get a free show because some guy failed to detonate some chemicals he stacked as extra junk in his trunk on a flight to Detroit.
But it's all for our own good. Of course it is. We're going to be safer! We're all going to feel safer! And then the pundits will tell us that we have nothing to fear but fear itself and that if we were really all a bunch of innocent, normal, sane people travelling for business, pleasure or other, then we have no reason to mind the extra security, right?
Wrong! I remember the post-Sept. 11th period when you could still travel with carry on luggage and bottles of water. You could bring nail clippers and give yourself a personal manicure on your flight if that's what you really wanted! And the most unpleasant part about heading to the airport, in the past, was not the gruelling security, but the long hours of waiting for your plane to arrive while sitting on a plastic chair.
But now, the measures taken by security are not only long, tedious, unnecessary and utterly humiliating at times, it hasn't made anyone safer. Attacks are still going to happen and people are still going to think of inventive new ways to carry them out. Do the governments really feel safer now that they've taken away our nail clippers, hand cream and bottled water? What else do they want to take from us so that we can continue to fly places and feel safe?
Here’s an idea. If the governments are really serious about sucking the fun out of travel one security measure at a time, why don’t they just go all out now and get it over with? Why don’t they just go all of the way or just go home? I’m throwing down the gauntlet now to the governments, airlines and airports of the world! Here’s what should be done from now on:
Once passengers arrive at the airport and have finished checking in with their respective surly airline staff, they will then proceed to security. Once they arrive, all of their personal goods will be taken and vacuum sealed in a Ziploc Lock It bag and tagged with the name of the passenger who will be assigned a random code of numbers to identify them properly. Once these items are secure, they will then be checked by tiny robots who will load them onto the plane. If an item moves or makes any suspicious ticking type sounds, the robots will be commanded to shoot to kill.
The passengers will then proceed to the decontamination bay, where they will be stripped of all their clothing by robots similar to the ones who currently operate drive through car washes. A heavily induced antibacterial spray which has been infused by the H1N1 vaccine will then be administered to the passenger. Once the spray is complete and it has been determined that the passenger shows no signs of the sniffles, they will then be dressed in a government issued orange jumpsuit with their random number code on it.
At this point, it will be safe for the passengers to board. Once on board the plane, the cabin crew will direct you to your designated seat where a handy hand belt will be buckled on for added security. This handy hand belt will also be connected to a handy foot belt that will discourage passengers from disturbing each other or making a scene.
Then everyone can relax, wait for takeoff, where they will be issued a $4 box of juice and watch only patriotic pro-Western family films like Rambo.
See? Not that different from flying today.
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