I've heard this nasty rumour lately that Daniel Craig, Mr. Blonde 007 James Bond, has been caught kissing some man and that he may possibly be gay. While it's always shocking and disheartening to hear that some beautiful specimen of a man actually hits for the other team, what really shocks and disheartens me is the discussion that is surrounding this so-called issue.
Some people say that it's unacceptable for the 007 super spy to be gay and that if he ever comes out, this is a good reason for him to get fired as the world's most famous numerically identified spy. The reasoning behind this is that James Bond is a true man's man and ladies' man and that there is no way that he can some sort of pansy wansy gay man and retain that role.
There is so much wrong with this reasoning, so I'm going to proceed in order here otherwise I'll have a blind rage filled hissy fit:
Stupid argument number one: James Bond cannot be gay
James Bond cannot be anything. He is NOT REAL. He is a fictional made up character who is part of a billion dollar movie franchise based on the fact that audiences love to see things blow up and love a man who can get any woman because that's their ultimate fantasy.
Another thing about this which is faulty is the fact that Daniel Craig is NOT James Bond. He's Daniel Craig, a paid actor who makes a living by being paid to act like someone he is not. This does not apply to his real life. In his real life, he should be himself, whether that's gay or whatever. In the movies, he should be ladies man Bond. Don't get the 2 confused, people. Let him be what he is in real life and he will continue to pander to your silly action related fantasies in the movies.
Stupid argument number two: male audiences will not identify with a gay James Bond
James Bond is not being rewritten as the owner of a flower shop in Manhattan who sells lilies by day and solves crime at night. He will continue to be the man that he always was and his career will still be super spy. There will also be tons of supermodels to follow in his path and end up in his bed in the movies. Remember: it's the movies. Male audiences should not let the personal life of the actor portraying Bond affect how they feel about seeing things blow up.
Stupid argument number three: women audiences will not identify with a gay James Bond
No way. Hot is hot. We all know it when we see it. Sure, we're not going to be happy that we can't actually have Daniel Craig's sexy body when it comes out of the water in those old school tight swim trunks, but then again, none of us are ever going to have it. We only have it when we go to the movies, much like the James Bond fantasy itself. So just because he prefers men, we're all going to stop swooning collectively when a bare chested Craig shows up on the big screen? Anyone who thinks like this doesn't know women.
Movies are fantasies. We're not going to watch Bond movies with Craig and suddenly fantasize about shoe-shopping with him. We like hot men and we will pay to see them, even if they turn out to be gay. Most men who work in strip clubs are gay men and women still want to stuff dollar bills in their G-strings. We're not going to stop ogling Daniel Craig as long as he's still buff.
If he gets fat and lazy, on the other hand, well, we're not going to line up and pay $12 to see him.
All of this may just be a rumour dreamed up by some jealous heterosexual man or the fantasy brain child of some homosexual man. Either way, the fact that this is an issue is in itself problematic and is the real point of this entry. As a society that has recognized the rights of gay people, we should not be fixated on this.
Either live and let live and give gay people as much consideration as everyone else, or forget it. A person's sexual orientation is not supposed to be used against them, particularly in terms of their professional life and if we were going to fire some gay guy in our office, we would have the Human Rights Tribunal on our butts so fast, we wouldn't know what hit us. The fact that Hollywood thinks it can dismiss an actor on the basis of his being gay makes it even more backwards. We are an irresponsible society if we give people rights that we're not willing to honour.
And gay or straight, in my opinion, Daniel Craig could make out with palm trees and he would still be hot. Hot is hot.