I think that Lindsay Lohan is addicted to rehab. Let's face it, she's overworked and way too young to look so dischevelled and disoriented all of the time. She keeps committing these silly DUIs, once taking out the curb in a Beverly Hills suburb, and has failed to show up for countless alcohol education classes. Her problem may not be the fact that she's addicted to partying, alcohol and drugs. Her problem may be that she's addicted to rehab treatments.
Hollywood rehab doesn't actually look anything like a hard treatment centre or a hospital. It looks more like club med, to be honest, with tennis, yoga and fish for dinner. The only thing missing is the jumping in the sack with an egg on a spoon race. Rather than looking like a sort of prison for junkies, it's more like an all-inclusive with the added benefit of privacy and no interruptions from the outside world.
And if you're a celebrity in Hollywood, you know all about interruptions, whether or not it's a papparazzi scrum while you shop in Wal-Mart, or a red carpet with legions of screaming fans, not all of them fans of your work. So of course rehab sounds like heaven compared to what must be the blaze and blur of daily life for a Hollywood star.
Oh, how I yearn for the days when the big studios ran the show and always carefully presented their starlets as untouchable goddesses on earth. They were always immaculate, glamourous and nobody ever aired their dirty laundry out in public or took pictures of them doing mundane things like shopping for yogourt or filling up the tank at the gas station. There was also no mention of surgery, past ailments or embarassing bodily functions, of which there are plenty nowadays.
People in North America love to see stars rise to the top because it makes us believe that maybe we can be part of the fortunate elite one day, with access to privileges, luxuries and jobs that we love. But we also love to see them come crashing to the ground of reality, suffering through bad breakups and bad hair days alike, because it reminds us that they're people just like us and just as vulnerable to life's strange ways.
So while it is satisfying to hear that Lindsay Lohan is going to jail for her flighty and reckless behavior, it's not as satisfying to know that she suffered this fate for a mere couple of weeks. But maybe rehab, regardless of what her addiction is, is exactly what Lohan needs. Some time off to get herself back together.
We all fall. We all need time to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off. Not all of us get to do it in a resort in the sun, but so be it. This might be a chance for her to relax, reflect, drop the mask of the carefree party girl and rediscover herself. It might also be a chance for her to make a clear choice not to be that girl stumbling out of bars at 4am and physically fighting with her not-lesbian girlfriend.
She can afford to take the time out. She can straggle along on the few millions that she has right now. And maybe it's a good idea for her not to be in the public eye for awhile. Give them a chance to forget her and then rediscover her later on, when she's healthy and on the ball. Because when the recurring media image of you is in court and in shackles, it might be time to reform. Just a thought.