Monday, November 15, 2010

I love you- All Staff

A lonely public servant in Australia has apparently mass emailed the entire Australian Department of Immigration in order to find a woman that he met at a party. The email stated that he understood that this was an unusual measure, but that life is too short to experience regret.

He may have used some ironic words, as he is currently being investigated by the values and conduct section of the department for his inappropriate use of work email. This may result in some form of email rehabilitation program, as the government likes to solve its various issues with training modules, as broad and various as they are pointless. Something along the lines of "Your workplace is not your dating pool" or "Cupid doesn't email."

On the one hand, it's understandable that after years of Hollywood drivel and films starring bubbly blondes with stars in their eyes, that people would consider the grand love gesture to be the best and boldest way to find lasting happiness. The run to the airport gate, the love song in the middle of some well known public gathering place, chasing down your love in a stolen ice cream know, those gestures.

Granted, sending off an email is not exactly grand, we probably do it a hundred times a day without even thinking about it, accidentally emailing ourselves in the process, but sending a mass email to an entire department of public servants while searching for love? It has all the hallmarks of the grand gesture: reckless, silly, over the top, fantastic if it succeeds and absolute humiliation for life if it doesn't.

There's been no follow up news to see if the woman was ever found or if she ever responded to the man. As much as most of us romantics out there would like to believe that the man is some form of dashing Hugh Grant charmer who just happens to be a cubicle Charlie who is desperately shy, my guess is that he was that awkward guy with the tie that doesn't match his shirt lingering by the punch bowl. Which means that this woman may not want to be found.

Let this be a lesson to you guys out there, lingering around the punch bowl and thinking about talking to girls- go talk to the girls. We're not scary and we don't have cooties. We won't act like supreme bitches and toss our hair at you and make below the belt comments about the size of your manhood (well, maybe in LA and New York). We're just people, like you, and if you never make a move, we'll never know you're interested. And a mass email the day after is not the best way to get our attention.

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